(PUNS! GETCHA PUNS HEYUH!)
Today I traversed the great and glorious expanse known as Philadelphia Premium Outlets, which incidentally was steps away from a nuclear power plant. There, accompanied by my boyfriend and his ma and sis, I shopped all my cares away.
Gender-wise, the shopping odds were fantastic, as the ladies had a clear hormonal supermajority (estrogen : testosterone : : 3 : 1), which meant we basically ventured into each and every store without exception (sorry for the sexist generalization...except I'm not sorry, because I just went shopping, and I have no remorse after I go shopping).
Naturally I came home with many spoils, to the tune of: two pairs of pants, a shirt, and sunglasses -- all totaling $5.00!*
*Okay, maybe I spent more than $5.00.
But all you need to know is: I won, and companies lost! Because isn't shopping really a contest, in the end? In New York City terms, the final tab was roughly equivalent to a deli sandwich. And whereas I devour my deli sandwiches in mere seconds, now I'm going to look amazing for the rest of my life, and is there anything more happiness-inducing than looking amazing?
I didn't think so.
Frankly, I feel better than I've felt in a long time. I almost feel like the outlets paid *me* to buy their stuff.
Sure, the Forever 21 was not so much an outlet as just a kind of sh*tty Forever 21 with no stock. Sure, the J. Crew sweaters were marked down from $89.95 to $89.94. Sure, I bought things I absolutely do not need, but do you see the inherent triumph of it all? As a consumer I like to feel like I've come out on top, even if it means amassing closets upon closets of slightly cheaper, poorer-quality, outlet-specific merchandise.
What do you think of outlet shopping?