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Friday, August 17, 2012

The Story of My Life (Right Now)

Maybe this is a metaphor for something

Well, hi there!

Many of you have emailed/tweeted/Facebooked/beeped/booped/plappity-plapped me with the following question:

"What are you doing, Felicia?"

And usually I just avoid the question and am all like "I DERNT KNER!" (Translation: "I don't know.") (Translate your own phrases into ERMAHGERD-ese here!) But now, at long last, I'm going to tell you what I'm doing, at which point your hopes will either be met or dashed.

In No Particular Order, Here Is What I'm Doing

1. On the writerly front, I'm working on a young adult novel. You heard me! It's too early to give substantial info on this matter, but I will say that it's about a gal, and she's pretty funny, and she has summer theater-related misadventures. Comedy/romance/life lessons ensue!

2. As such, I am trying to convince myself that I think I can I think I can I think I can write a novel. Okay, okay: I've already written one book. But memoir is so different than fiction. Mostly because, like, I knew what happened already when I sat down to write Unnaturally Green. The plot was there for the telling; I just had to figure out the most dramatic and compelling way to tell it. And when I wrote the memoir I was writing as myself, not as a sixteen year-old, which is a whole other bag of chips, sistah! (Do people still say "bag of chips" or has that been relegated to the nineties? I feel it has. Oh well. I just said it.)

3. As for the whole Guide to Being an Actor book I keep mentioning, it has temporarily been put on hiatus (SAD PANDA FACE). The good news is I'm thinking I'll just publish it eventually as a series of blog posts on Five-Trick Pony, and it will have this whole fun sub-page thing, and will exist alongside some other actor resources I've already accumulated, and we will all do a happy dance. In other words, it will be free and accessible and hopefully helpful to you in some small way -- but ALL IN GOOD TIME. (Writing takes TIME. Isn't that annoying?)

4. I've been pursuing the lofty fitness goal of "looking like I can beat you up" and have therefore been lifting heavy weights and doing super barbaric cardio exercises like throwing giant balls against the wall in anger and frustration. Which leads me to...

5. I've been dealing with some kinda-sorta-personal issues that have made me feel like this:
I am a destroyer of worlds!
And it's just, like, not fun.

(Be not afeard, fans of Gentle Rambo: it has nothing to do with my love life nor with one Marshall Roy. Our coupledom remains solid -- brimming with romance and dinner dates and red meat and other things.)

Anyway, I feel weirdly close to my readers, so part of me wants to just lay it all down and blog about it (as opposed to writing ambiguous free-verse poetry) but then I'm like...ERM...NER. (Translation: Um...No.)

BUT WHO KNOWS. Maybe what's going down in the present will make a great second memoir in the future. I'll call it: Unnaturally Whack, or something similarly artistic.

6. I've been living in New York City, as always, trying to save money and not spend it all on rent. As such, I've been writing product descriptions for a really cool plus-sized fashion company that lets me make lots of puns and design their email newsletter, in which I make lots of puns. Because shouldn't fashion be a little more whimsical/pun-filled? I think it should. I've been particularly inspired by this great website called ModCloth.com that uses puns (good and bad) with wild abandon for all of their product names. You've got to give them props. (Also, they sell great clothes.)

7. I've been teaching voice lessons both to my regular students and to out-of-towners who want a crash course in sangin'! (Do you want to schedule a lesson with me? Shoot me an email!) Here are some of my super-short singing lessons on YouTube, if you're curious.

8. I've officially been absent from Facebook as "Felicia Ricci" (the person) since January 4, 2012 and it's been extremely liberating! Sure, I still have my Author Page and my Book Page and a Fake Profile for Unnaturally Green in which I post things like "being green is fun because people think one parent is yellow and one parent is blue," but, all told, being Facebook-less has reminded me to maintain actual face-to-face friendships, as opposed to using a mini-feed and timeline to make me feel more popular and/or somehow in touch with world.

But that's just me. Admittedly, I think my true nature is rather hermetic. I've realized my dream dwelling is rather quaint and technology-less -- essentially The Shire from Lord of the Rings in which we all have to duck through little doors to say hello and also nobody wears shoes.

9. What else? In the miscellaneous drawer: I watched the Olympics. They were awesome! (I later had a dream in which Michael Phelps tried to seduce me, and I was like, "No, you're too aquatic." Thoughts? Interpretations? Should I leave that one alone?) Also, I read -- and laughed out loud until I was literally sore in my gut during -- my best friend Rebecca Harrington's novel Penelope (on sale now!). I've also been re-reading Wicked by Gregory Maguire and The Fault in Our Stars by John Green, because those dudes are just geniuses, and nothing inspires me more while writing than reading masterfully crafted books. I've also been YouTubing Tom Hardy because he has extremely large muscles and endearing crooked teeth.

What else? I watched Shark Week on The Discovery Channel! (Shark Week, the Twitter handle, even tweeted at me!) All in all, it was an awesome week -- and my watching was a feat which I consider to be a great personal accomplishment, since as a child I was deathly afraid of even PHOTOS of sharks, let alone Shark Week's various shark-cams and Phantom cams and slo-mo cams that show footage of a shark's mouth while it is feeding/after it is feeding/before it is feeding, of looking out of a shark's mouth into another shark's mouth, of replicas of shark's mouths, except three times the scale (because Shark Week, while awesome, does get sort of redundant, ammiright?).

Anyway, during said week, I came to a realization that feels more and more profound the longer I think about it....

10. I decided that as much as I fear sharks, so do I love them -- particularly the Great White. Conquering my fear of them seems like it's strangely important, like it's a metaphor...for something. But I decided that one of my dreams is to see a Great White out in the wild, possibly off the coast of South Africa where they breach like mother****ing badasses. I imagine our meeting would be very much like the end of Fantastic Mr. Fox -- how the main fox dude (voiced by George Clooney) is both haunted by and obsessed with the Wolf, and then finally he sees his shadowy silhouette in the distance and they share a longing, mutually respectful salute.

That is exactly how I would want it to go down with me and the GW, except the shark would kind of flap its fin as opposed to salute, and I would be really far away in a boat.

THE END.

(Thusly concludes the post "in which I tell you what I am doing." As always, it's great to stay in touch and hear from all of you, and I'll do my best to provide more regular spurts of information on this blog, as opposed to less timely mini novellas that summarize, in grand terms, the State of Things. But, ah well. We do the best we can, right?)

What are you up to? Post in the comment section below!


9 comments:

  1. Always being the first one to comment on all your posts makes me feel a bit stalker-ish lol However, I trust that you know me to not be a stalker...

    I've not thought a lot about what you're up to, since I knew you were writing a book - but if I had thought about it, I would have imagined you sitting at a desk, with coffee (or tea?) nearby while you type away (aka stare at the computer with your head in your hands.)

    I have a blog as well, that has been severely neglected lately, as I feel I have nothing new to say. And probably like you - not that things aren't happening, just it isn't amounting to much right now. Work 40 hours a week, go to school (Psych major/HR Minor) and play with my 4yo niece whenever possible. Going to college is pretty mundane until the One Big Day (aka, graduation) when it suddenly seems worth it, and writeable.

    Speaking of my niece, I'm taking her mini-golfing in exactly five minutes. This may end up being blog-worthy. Especially if she ends up in a pond chasing her ball. ;-)

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  2. Mini golf is the best! So are 4 year-old nieces!! Always appreciate your comments, Amy, however stalkerish!*

    *They're totes not stalkerish

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  3. What am I doing currently...writing college essays and ready to pull my brains out by some of the ridiculous questions they ask: What is your opinion on the month of February? What is your favorite amusement park ride and how does that represent your personality? And my most recent tackle: Describe an incident where you solved a problem that benefitted others and how that made you feel) My answers to said questions: 1. February is too short and it has Valentines Day which is boring if your boyfriend-less like myself! 2. I have no favorite ride because I'm scared of all of them so that shows that I'm a chicken and 3. I'm 17 and I have finally balanced our budget, fixed the economy, solved global warming and saved the world all in one day! *Note sarcasm* The only problem I've fixed are...none...
    Other than that I'm um...finding distractions so I don't have to write these essays or do my summer reading assignment...

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  4. Update: She didn't hit her ball into a pond and bonus, she got a hole in one!! It was her first mini golf experience and she didn't even realize what a big deal it was haha I kept trying to ramp up her excitement with high-fives, hugs, and "That's so awesome!!" comments. By the time I dropped her off at the grandparents, I think she got it.

    Miranda, I did a spit-take when I read "What is your opinion on the month of February". I can't say I've ever considered that. I'm also thinking it might be a brilliant question for a job interview. I'm tucking that one away in case I'm ever the interviewer.

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  5. I'm very proud to have provided an assist (sports jargon, yo) on getting that Shark Week reply. Also, you are now exponentially cooler because you embrace sharks -- not literally, because that would not be wise -- since sharks are the awesomest.

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  6. Ooh, this post had so many things that made me laugh.

    I've been sweating my face off in Korea and now Japan before heading back for my final year of grad school!

    I'm also planning to eat a metric ton of peanut butter when I get back to the US and planning a project where I bake one cake or pie from every state (plus DC).

    I've also been feeling lame that in my insane email to you, I made a lot of typos. I look like a dum-dum.

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  7. Chris, that Shark Week reply was totes ALL YOU. I should have given you more explicit props! Miranda, your essay topics crack me up! Mica, I'm so jeal of your worldly travels, but am glad to hear of your lofty goal of eating a metric ton of peanut butter; I can attest that the experience, even when done regularly, is a very fulfilling one. As for typos: who currrs?

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  8. This all sounds incredibly exciting Felicia! (Yes I have just decided we are on a first name basis!)
    I am hanging out for this new book of yours so bad!! :)
    I'm currently trying to not procrastinate uni and work to plan my holiday to America! Christmas in New York is going to be the greatest time of my life! Actually just posted a blog asking around to see if anybody has any tips on things to make our trip extra magical! Feel free to let me know if you can think of anything! http://theemeraldcit.blogspot.com.au/
    I hope you're having amazing times!! xx

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  9. Yay, updates! Thank you for coming out of your hermitically-sealed life (yeah, I went there) and sharing with us what you've been up to! I haven't wanted to ask about things, since I'm always a bit wary about where you draw the line with celebrities' privacy (I so don't want to be That Fan), but I've hoped things were going well and am glad to hear that for the most part they are. :) Whatever is causing your world-destroying impulses, I hope it stops being a problem soon and life becomes fully awesome for you.

    Congrats on all the writing projects! Very excited to see how they all turn out. I've got full respect for you for having the drive and commitment to finish all of these things too! I have a tendency to start writing projects, then have another idea and start that too, until I have tons of ongoing ones and nothing finished. (Currently "working on" two children's books, a screenplay, a stage play, a novel, and possibly a web series if my co-writer/friend decides he does want to continue it.)

    Not too much excitement going on here this summer. The excessive heat (even for Texas) combined with our ineffective air conditioning has made me shift to a more nocturnal, vampire-like schedule. I'm gearing up to teach two biology classes for a local community college this fall, talking to kids about fossils at a dinosaur exhibit this coming weekend, trying to get back into drawing (see? more projects to distract me...), and generally trying to get used to the almost-freelance life of being an adjunct professor. I don't know how you guys in the acting world do it, not being able to plan long-term, but it does make you appreciate whatever work you have at any given time.

    All the best to you and Marshall! Hope your life keeps getting better and better, and when you do get frustrated and things are tough, I still stand by the mantra that's gotten me through such times: "At least I'll get a story out of this."

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