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Monday, December 31, 2012

Farewell, 2012. You saucy minx.

And now a brief New Year's Eve post to tie a bit of a messy, loose-ended bow on this challenging and bizarre gift of a year....

It's not a tradition of mine to reflect on the year on December 31. Usually that comes on May 16, my birthday, in which I write a couple of pages in my private "Birthday Journal" (a Google doc, really) to sum up what's happened to me, how I've grown, what I'm proud of, what I'm afraid of... It's fun to periodically go back and read them, all in a row, so I'm fast-forwarding through time, and gazing at myself from a place of retrospection, an older sister to myself, whispering, "Keep going."

But 2012 has been profound, and I think it deserves some kind of acknowledgment, however brief.

First thing's first: astrology. The intellectual in me doesn't believe in horoscopes, but the other part of me does, and I'd say the forecast for Taurus for 2012 turned out to be fairly accurate. It would be a year of upheaval, it said, a year of "setting the stage." I wouldn't get a whole lot of stuff done in a neat, A to Z kind of way. Rather, I would initiate a host of changes and lay the groundwork for a fulfilling future, all the while enduring lots of shifts in my life's tectonic plates.

This is sort of like code for: "Dude. Your year is going to suck!"

On some level, it did.

But, on other levels, it didn't. The year meant too much to suck. I accomplished too much for it to be mostly bad.

Was it super hard? Yes. Did I come to some painful realizations about my life. Heck, yes. Did I leave behind a lot of what I considered "my identity," my origin, my sense of home, family, career? Heck to the mother-effing yes! But now, looking back at the past 364 days of my life, I feel, in a broader sense, the way one does after a super challenging, kick-your-own-butt throw-down workout. I am a better, stronger, more capable person now. My buns are killing me. But, man. Do I feel like I can do anything!

In addition, there were lots of unadulterated, joyous events this year! Straight-up, heartwarming, romantic comedy shit. Man of my dreams, check. Loving friends and family members, check. Shopping sprees with my little sister imagined as montages set to pop music, check.

It was all there. So I must pay homage to all the blindingly amazingly good things, too.

In summary: 2012, you were a saucy minx of a year. I won't miss having you around, but I will remember you fondly, the way one remembers a strict, ornery chemistry teacher -- the hunched over, high-wasted pants-wearing type, who never awarded a single A, sent us to the principal's office, told us we were too big for our britches -- and turned out to be one of the best damn teachers we've ever had.

I'm ready for you, 2013. Let's do this!


Friday, December 14, 2012

Videograms for Christmas!

Are you thinking of buying Unnaturally Green as a gift for somebody this holiday season? If so, congratulations: you are one of the most brilliant people I have ever known.

Even more importantly... 

If you buy a copy of my book, then forward me your confirmation email of purchase, I'll send you or the person you're buying for a videogram! (I'm at

What is a videogram? It's a short video from me being like, "Heyyyy thanks for buying my book. You're cooooool let's be friendddddds" etc. in which I'll look very similar to the above screenshot, except my hair is shorter now.

When you forward me your Amazon/Barnes and Noble receipt, just tell me the name of the person I'm talking to and one or two fun facts I can throw in. I'll do my best to entertain, and will reply to your email with the link to the videogram by January 1, 2013.*

Note: Videograms are for paperback copies only and are non-retroactive, meaning the purchase receipt has to be from December 14, 2012 onward. 

So what are you waiting for, my little elves? Make somebody super happy this year by giving them a really fun book and a video of somebody they've never met making no sense whatsoever.

*Pending the Mayan apocalypse.

Thursday, December 13, 2012

"Hitting on" Tom Hardy

Fun fact! The stats section of Blogger reports that my extremely brief post on Tom Hardy (in which I quoted him saying strange yet accurate things about poodles) has gotten more than double the hits of my second-most popular post (on discontinuing my Facebook timeline). Go figure.

Anyway, thanks, Tom Hardy!

Also, sometimes I think Bane from The Dark Knight Rises is my spirit animal? In a non-creepy, non-terrorist, big-muscled, gypsy-accented kind of way.

Don't ask me to explain. Let's just go with it.


Wednesday, December 12, 2012

What do you blog about when you're afraid to blog?

I've had blogger's block. It's not an accident. There's a reason.

I'm afraid to tell the truth.

Five-Trick Pony, as a workspace, lives sort of separately from my author-space. Separate from the whole promoting-Unnaturally-Green-thing, from my Twitter, from my weird alias Facebook, it's a space that's a little more sequestered than it is in the spotlight. (I like to think, anyway.) It's also been a space for me to speak on a host of random things that have crossed my mind (manicures, sweat, and other riches).

For the most part, I've kept it light. Mostly.

And now? I'm afraid to go dark.

Hence blogger's block.

In prior writing, I've alluded to some crazy shit that's been going down in my life (sometimes more blatantly than others), and since then I've debated with myself over how much I should disclose to my readers and internet comrades -- even though said "crazy shit" is THE EVENT of my current life.

You know have you have eras? The era I dated so-and-so. The era I studied abroad. The era I tried to go vegetarian but then I realized I loved sausage too much. The past six months of my life could probably be termed "The Era of Shit."

Pardon my French.

In truth, one day doesn't go by that this THING doesn't affect me in one way or another. This needling dysfunction. This slow, steady decay of my "former life."

Sounds juicy, right?

So why do I resist the urge to write about it? If this is the thing that I'm most focused on, the thing that "needs my writing," so to speak, why am I afraid to go there?

Maybe it has to do with reputation. The tarnishing of the sort of happy-go-lucky, witty-to-my-core, sometimes-vulnerable, but always-resilient image I tried to create in Unnaturally Green and on these very e-pages. None of that was a lie. When I wrote my memoir, I wasn't even aware of it.  So I gave it my best shot. The light, without the dark.

There's also the reputation of the others involved. People who may or may not be reading this in the confines of their fortress because they're too afraid to come forward and face it -- not just me, but their demons. Honestly, I don't know why I'm protecting them. They may not even be reading this. Rumor has it they're not nearly as broken up about it as I am. They've been on vacations all over the world. They've feasted and celebrated and called upon an impressive array of pinch-hitter acquaintances. Maybe I'm protecting them because I once felt closeness to them. Maybe because I'm worried it will sink these folks further down their rabbit hole of dysfunction, into thinking they're completely and utterly right, and into thinking I'm so obstreperously and outrageously and gosh-darn crazily wrong! for speaking the truth.

Today, I woke up, did the usual, then read this post by Canadian blogger Schmutzie. She reminded me why it's so important to write and self-reflect, sometimes privately, sometimes publicly. And I was inspired.

The reasons to write about yourself are countless and varied. Writing helps to clarify, to investigate, to work through issues you can't work through by staying silent, to try to understand those life "characters" who truly baffle you.... To accumulate an audience of readers and listeners, so you, and they, don't feel so alone.

I'm not sure how or when I'll be able to write about everything so openly and honestly. The so-called Crazy Shit is a tricky topic because it involves a cast of characters, and a fraught dynamic, that is difficult to capture without my doing at least some finger-pointing. And I don't want it to be that, or to seem like the writing of a person determined to absolve herself.

But maybe that's what it has to be?

Whatever it is, it's my truth.

Hopefully one day I'll be able to tell it.


Sunday, November 25, 2012

Giving thanks, giving gifts

Yo dudes! I hope you had a fantastic Thanksgiving! Mine was celebrated alongside my boyfriend Marshall's awesome family -- and was lovingly termed "Steaksgiving," because we ate steak instead of turkey, because steak is way better than turkey.

Marsh, Sibs, Fel and Sophie the German Shepherd!
Later on in the evening, while I lay prostrate on the couch, waiting for the miracle of digestion to deliver me from my food-coma, Marshall and two of his sibs built a raging campfire!

From that campfire they made torches!

With those torches they performed "The Festival of Torches":

Let there be light, bitches
I was pretty sad I missed this in-person. Then, upon further reflection, I realized I wasn't -- because, being a safety-nut, I probably would have begun screaming and convulsing on the ground.

Anyway, Thanksgiving has come to an end. It's time to take down my Thanksgiving decorations: a gourd named Maurice and a mini-pumpkin-gourd named Bam, who had taken residence upon my mantle, and by mantle I mean Ikea shelf:

Maurice and Bam are friends & do their homework together

The parting is bittersweet! But all is not lost. Because, as we bid farewell to one holiday, we usher in the next!


Don't worry: it takes a few days for the consumerist panic to set in. Before it does, allow me to direct you toward the perfect gift-giving solution:

Here is how you do it (make sure you view this on a browser, as opposed to a mobile device or iSomething)!

(And be warned: I only have about 10 signed copies on hand -- so make sure you don't snooze on this one!)

Unnaturally Green -- signed and personalized by me! -- is fun, breezy, comedic, and sure to put a smile on ol' Grandpa Phil's face. (Doesn't everybody have a Grandpa named Phil?) In short, it is the gift that keeps on giving. Until, you know, you read it.

In any event, whether or not you buy my book, let's all be sure to follow up this holiday of thanks with a wild consumerist frenzy. Hooray!


Monday, October 22, 2012

Pulp Fiction / Truth

My sister is visiting me this weekend. Here is a conversation we just had.
Tessa: I want some orange juice. 
Felicia: Don't we have some in the fridge? 
Tessa: I don't know, I didn't check. Does it have pulp? 
Felicia: (nods) 
Tessa: Why, does Marshall like pulp? 
Felicia: No, I like pulp. 
Tessa: Why? 
Felicia: It makes me feel like I'm drinking a real orange. 
Tessa: Really? Because it makes me feel like, 'What is this vomit I'm drinking?' 
Felicia: I can strain it for you. 
Tessa: I don't think there's anything that repulses me more than pulp, in a drink.
Felicia: Huh. 
Tessa: Yup.
Felicia: That surprises me.
Tessa: Well.
Felicia: I'm putting this on my blog.
(more from Tessa and Felicia...)

Sunday, October 14, 2012

Happy Bday, U.G! (Contest winners, weird video!)

One year and change ago, I was convinced there was NO WAY I was going to be able to finish my book. One year and a month ago, I was pretty much going insane, trying to edit the final draft, keeping outrageously late hours, tossing and turning like a tormented weirdo! But, behold, one year ago to the day, Unnaturally Green finally burst forth from my womb-brain, like a giant, aggressive alien that was also a book and also my child.

The point is: 'Twas born!

(Self-doubt, get offa my stoop!)

Since then, I've had the great pleasure of getting to know the coolest darn bunch of readers this side of the Mississippi -- which is every side, because y'all are from around the globe. (How cool is that?)


So. That being said, let's celebrate U.G's bday by getting down to business!

1) THANKS ARE IN ORDER! If you've been a fan/reader/blog-participant for the past year (or even before that) THANK YOU again for being so supportive and for making my job incredibly fun and rewarding. So many of you have left thoughtful or Goodreads reviews, emailed me your thoughts (side note: if you've emailed me in the past couple of months, I *will* write back; just takes me a while), tweeted nice things at me -- and I can't tell you how grateful I am.

2) I had a blast reading all your contest entry limericks! They were incredible! Thanks to all who entered! Random selection from the pool came up with these three illustrious winners --

Congratulations to:

Tricia L.S.
Patricia M.
Rebekah H.

Hooray! You each get a signed and personalized copy of Unnaturally Green! Double hooray! (Be sure to email me your contact info so I can get that book to you ASAP!)

And finally...

3) Please enjoy this OUT OF CONTROL video I filmed with my friend Sam (perhaps you remember him from our Snood video? or as the guy in Unnaturally Green who Facebook messages me about almost buying me a Wicked Witch doll, or something...).

(WARNING: Do not operate heavy machinery while watching.)

And thus we conclude a very exciting post on a very exciting day. I feel wistful, nostalgic, proud...and, as always, grateful to have all of you as my readers.

May the journey continue...

Unnaturally yours,

Friday, October 5, 2012

GIVEAWAY: My book turns 1 year-old!

Dear ones! On this October 14, my book/lovechild Unnaturally Green will officially turn 1 year-old! To commemorate its birth and subsequent growth into a wee tiny spittling babe, I will be giving away SIGNED, PERSONALIZED COPIES (the perfect holiday gift, wut wut) TO THREE LUCKY READERS.

Didja hear me?


Who is eligible? All creatures on this great spherical earth, regardless of locale, can enter (even you, Antartican penguins!).

And because no contest hosted by me is complete without some sort of bizarre conceit, here are the rules:


1) First name and last initial.
2) A limerick that (loosely) has to do with: a) Wicked,  b) green babies, c) your favorite cheese, d) Unnaturally Green.

(What is a limerick? It's a poem like this:

There once was an author named Fel,
Who thought that her readers were swell.
When her book turns one year,
She will let out a cheer,
And cover her head in hair gel.)

Anyway, winner will be drawn at random and announced on October 14 on this blog -- but you can get submitted into the pool once, twice, or three times depending on the awesome-ness factor of your limerick.

Sound good? Everybody enter and tell your friends!!


Sunday, September 16, 2012

Watch me read Chapter 19 aloud (looking only slightly haggard)

Greetings, bloggorific friends --

Cool news from the Unnatural front! I've just recorded a video for Broadway Spotted in which I read Chapter 19 of Unnaturally Green aloud, moments after having woken from a nap!

Click the pic below to be taken to the book club's page, where the video resides (and be sure to comment on Chapters 12-18, last week's reading!).

Hugs and pizza,

Wednesday, August 29, 2012

The insaner you are, Tom Hardy, the more I love you

“I feel sorry for a poodle because he's a dog. You know, a dog is a f*cking great creature. They would do anything for you. And the poodle gets a haircut. No one asks if the poodle wants his hair cut like that. Do they? They just f*cking cut his hair like that. And he just walks around. And everyone is like, ‘Why is that poodle so snarky?’ F*ck you.”
--Tom Hardy (courtesy of

Tuesday, August 21, 2012

Where slightly sh*ttier stuff is slightly cheaper!

Well, I've found my new "outlet": OUTLET SHOPPING!


Today I traversed the great and glorious expanse known as Philadelphia Premium Outlets, which incidentally was steps away from a nuclear power plant. There, accompanied by my boyfriend and his ma and sis, I shopped all my cares away.

Gender-wise, the shopping odds were fantastic, as the ladies had a clear hormonal supermajority (estrogen : testosterone : : 3 : 1), which meant we basically ventured into each and every store without exception (sorry for the sexist generalization...except I'm not sorry, because I just went shopping, and I have no remorse after I go shopping). 

Naturally I came home with many spoils, to the tune of: two pairs of pants, a shirt, and sunglasses -- all totaling $5.00!*

*Okay, maybe I spent more than $5.00.

But all you need to know is: I won, and companies lost! Because isn't shopping really a contest, in the end? In New York City terms, the final tab was roughly equivalent to a deli sandwich. And whereas I devour my deli sandwiches in mere seconds, now I'm going to look amazing for the rest of my life, and is there anything more happiness-inducing than looking amazing? 

I didn't think so.

Frankly, I feel better than I've felt in a long time. I almost feel like the outlets paid *me* to buy their stuff. 

Sure, the Forever 21 was not so much an outlet as just a kind of sh*tty Forever 21 with no stock. Sure, the J. Crew sweaters were marked down from $89.95 to $89.94. Sure, I bought things I absolutely do not need, but do you see the inherent triumph of it all? As a consumer I like to feel like I've come out on top, even if it means amassing closets upon closets of slightly cheaper, poorer-quality, outlet-specific merchandise

Go, me!

What do you think of outlet shopping? 

Sunday, August 19, 2012

New Singing Tips Video!

Greeting, blog readers! The end of summer is nigh! I don't know about you, but I'm looking forward to fall, a.k.a. the season in which I can wear clothes not solely to avoid nakedness (which would be preferable in the oppressive heat) but rather layered outfits with an eye toward style!

On a completely unrelated note, here's the latest installment of my Super Short Singing Lesson videos! It's about palate and tongue placement and mouth shape when you sing.

(Also, I decided to intersperse Baroque-inspired title cards, on a whim.)


Join Broadway Book Club's discussion of UNNATURALLY GREEN!

Weeeeee! Thanks to so many readers' input, Unnaturally Green got chosen to be read for popular blogger/tweeter Broadway Spotted's Broadway Book Club! If you've already read my book, why not give it another go-around? 

The Book Club will give you a chance to discuss it with others -- and maybe I'll chime in, too! It looks like they're reading the first 50 pages this week.

From Broadway Spotted:
This is so exciting! We’ve never done any kind of voting with a sweep this crazy! Felicia Ricci’s book Unnaturally Green was far and away the favorite to be our fourth book for the Broadway Book Club! 
A lot of you were voting for this book despite having already read it, so I can only assume two things. That you want to read it again and/or you really want a chance to discuss it with other broadway lovers. Both are great. Just remember not to give anything away for those of us who are behind the curve. For next week, please read through page 50. We’re gonna start slow just to give everyone a chance to buy the book and start.
Are you plan on joining the discussion? Leave a comment below to let me know!

UPDATE ON 8/25/12:

Looks like (1) we'll be reading up to Chapter 3 for tomorrow (page numbers are too confusing with e-readers); (2) the discussion will begin sometime in the morning or afternoon-ish. You can chime in by writing in the comments section of Broadway Spotted's latest Broadway Book Club post. I'll be sure to roll in sometime before 1:30PM, and will stay for as long as I'm welcome! Hooray!

Friday, August 17, 2012

The Story of My Life (Right Now)

Maybe this is a metaphor for something

Well, hi there!

Many of you have emailed/tweeted/Facebooked/beeped/booped/plappity-plapped me with the following question:

"What are you doing, Felicia?"

And usually I just avoid the question and am all like "I DERNT KNER!" (Translation: "I don't know.") (Translate your own phrases into ERMAHGERD-ese here!) But now, at long last, I'm going to tell you what I'm doing, at which point your hopes will either be met or dashed.

In No Particular Order, Here Is What I'm Doing

Monday, August 6, 2012

Musings on the Olympics, or, I am my own commercial

Do you watch the Olympics? If you answered yes, allow me to high-five you; if you answered no, I am puzzled by you!

Watching the Olympics has inspired me. It has inspired me to sit on the couch and watch more Olympics, and then think about all the ways I am unlike the athletes I see -- tumbling through the air, gliding in the water at superhuman speeds, doing strokes with delicate names like the butterfly but which should actually be called the splash-as-much-as-possible-and-look-insane stroke, but nobody asked me, did they. These athletes are tireless and inspiring and amazing, and I'm fascinated!

But maybe there's a selfish reason for it all. Maybe it's because watching somebody do something amazing makes me feel that much more amazing by proxy -- even though I have nothing whatsoever to do with the amazing-ness.

Don't believe me? Take all those TV commercials.

TV commercials, if you've noticed, played during the Olympics suffer from delusions of grandeur. They feature really deep-voiced narrators talking about "greatness" and "commitment" and "doing your best" and usually there's some slow-mo black-and-white movie playing of a girl on the uneven bars, and you think to yourself, "Wow, this is so inspiring!" and a tear comes to your eye.

Then the actual logo for the brand comes onto the screen and you're like, "Oh. Kellogg's cereal." Because nothing says "world champion" like a crunchy flake of corn.

Point being? Kellogg's think's it's great because it can meditate on greatness.

And you know what? I get it.

Allow me to submit an analogy.

read Us Weekly magazine every time I go on any type of hamster-wheel cardio machine. Why? Because looking at celebrities in skin-tight sheath-dresses weirdly makes me feel better about myself, as opposed to worse. It's counter-intuitive, isn't it? On a subterranean level I genuinely believe Jennifer Aniston's discipline and suffering will somehow get absorbed into me by osmosis, and I will henceforth be able to resist all manner of cheeseburger and creamy pasta dish the minute I step off the elliptical.

See, I don't resent her; I pretend I am her.

And the same goes for the Olympics. Michael Phelps has 22 medals, and so do I. We're a pretty great team, aren't we? Yeah, we work hard.

So it is time I thanked these prodigiously talented athletes for making me -- the girl with the clicker sitting on her ass on the couch, chewing licorice, munching corn chips -- feel like I'm a part of something great, all while doing nothing whatsoever to actualize it.

Isn't this, after all, the true essence of being American? In that case, Olympic Team U.S.A. -- with all their hard work, tireless effort, doing rather than dreaming -- could learn a lot from me.

Wednesday, July 25, 2012

Wanna fight me?

Sometimes I publicly allude to the fact that I lift heavy weights, like here, or here, or in this blog's author bio (look down and to the left!).

This post is another one of those times!

Because a foundational principle of blogging is that one should provide a window into all moments of one's life -- the fascinating, the mundane -- here is a video that my boyfriend Gentle Rambo insisted on filming. It's of me deadlifting 150 pounds for three reps -- the final set of lifts in a series of three -- and I guess I look sort of cool.

(Fortunately he cuts it right before I turn to the camera and make a truly heinous, "I want to go home now" face, equal parts "I'm constipated" and "I just relieved myself," which is a confusing and rather paradoxical place to be, emotionally and spiritually.)

But, okay, fine, I joke or whatever, but I'll admit it -- I'm sort of proud!

Saturday, July 21, 2012

Help spread the UNNATURAL word

Unnatural Compatriots!

I write to enlist your help.

I've recently discovered a super awesome Broadway-centric website/blog called "Broadway Spotted" (an off-shoot of the popular anonymous Twitter account @BroadwaySpotted, which functions like a Gossip Girl for theater geeks (yes, please)). It turns out they just started a "Broadway Book Club" wherein they read theater-y books and discuss them online. Huzzah!

First off, you guys should totes check out the site/chime in! It seems like a fun place for theater lovers to commune with each other.

Second off, please consider suggesting Unnaturally Green for the Book Club's next read! Not to toot my own horn or anything, but methinks it would be a pretty good fit for this kind of readership.

How does one make such a suggestion? Well, I wasn't able to find any official contact form on the site, but it seems the best way to pass along ideas to the webmaster is to submit a comment on this page. Who knows? Maybe it could be the site's next book pick!

I remain gratefully and greenly yours,

Felicia Octavius* Ricci
(*My real middle name is not Octavius.)

Sunday, July 8, 2012

An actual thing I just did

Subtitle: What has my life become?

Email to: Us Magazine 
From: Felicia 
This is one of the more bizarre missives I will ever write -- but I've noticed the following too many times for it to be coincidence! It seems that in many midtown Manhattan Duane Reade stores, Us Magazine is obstructed and difficult to find! I'm not sure if a competitor is sabotaging you or if there is some beef with Duane Reade, but any time I find Us (if at all) it is hidden behind another unrelated magazine in the display. Life & Style, Star (in my opinion, both lesser magazines!) are always loud and clear, front and center, whereas yours is hidden and out of reach. Anyway, call it paranoia or whatever, but it's happened around ten times, at more than one Duane Reade location. As a fan of Us, I thought I'd let you know, in case there's anything to it. 
And now you, dear reader, know my secret(s). Not only do I read Us Magazine regularly, but I have enlisted myself to protect it from nefarious tabloid sabotage.

Is there a support group I can join?


***10:00PM UPDATE***

DUDES! "Us" just wrote me back!

"Thanks Felicia, we're having this checked out now.

Sent from my iPhone"


Basically, I have found my calling -- as a magazine vigilante for justice.


Sunday, June 24, 2012

The World Under This One

In the world under this one is its mirror image, bent and fragmented, curved and slanted. At first I hoped it a distortion, the way the light breaks over the slats, the grooves, the way it reforms our faces, our heights, widths, minds, so we are heavy footed and alien, monsters of ourselves.

Now I see its truth, the inverse of what we knew, but an inverse of an inverse, somehow truer truth, where straight becomes crooked and other things become love, a love more wonderful than I knew.

In the mirror the prism of sight reflects back on itself, so the crookedness of our feelings, the mire of our confusion, is not a maze but an explanation.

We have memories, yes we have memories, of days before we could see under our own feet, before we lifted up the rug and dug into the floorboards, deeper, to find what was there, before the world had curves and slants and fragments but fit together with illusory perfection, one clear picture, a photograph, of static understanding.

In the world under this one there's another world that scares me.

Sometimes the mirror looks more like a window.

R.I.P. My Audiobook

So remember that time when I was like, "I'm going to make an audiobook of Unnaturally Green!"

Remember that time when I was like, "Actually it's too complicated for me to record and distribute the audiobook on my own!"

Oh okay: second thing is happening right now, in this post.

It is with heavy heart that I inform you my audiobook of my memoir has been kaput. Why? 

Here's the gist.

Unnaturally Green is a self-published book (meaning I wrote, marketed, printed and sold it myself); for this reason, it has many hurdles to leap when it comes to audiobook distribution. 

The audiobook industry, it turns out, is much more exclusive than the publishing industry, the latter of which lets people like me submit files of their books to services like CreateSpace and BookBaby so that they're available for purchase. In contrast, if I were to record my audiobook (which, by the way, I started to do; I got through to about Chapter Four until it dawned on me that I should investigate my distribution options first) it would be very difficult to sell it to all of you in a way that was streamlined, affordable and widely available.

Audiobook sites and services like iTunes and curate their content thoroughly and 99% of the time look for publishing house-produced content; not just any schmoe (is that how you spell "schmoe?" or is it "shmoe") like me can submit their files and voila! have them available for download.

So, in summary:

No audiobook. Why? Lots of time to produce (it takes a long time to read a book aloud!) + no way to distribute = weird/unprofitable/frustrating experience.

My apologies, friends! I tried! I tried! 

Friday, June 22, 2012

Book giveaway: 3 signed copies of UNNATURALLY GREEN

Hey, book lovers! Goodreads is hosting a month-long giveaway of my book Unnaturally Green. Three signed copies are up for grabs! Click on the widget below to enter to win (and be sure to share with friends!). Love, Felicia

Goodreads Book Giveaway

Unnaturally Green by Felicia Ricci

Unnaturally Green

by Felicia Ricci

Giveaway ends July 22, 2012.
See the giveaway details at Goodreads.
Enter to win

Sunday, June 3, 2012

A recap of Oz-tastic proportions!

Greetings, ye weary blog travelers!

Me and Gregory Maguire!!!!!!
I write to you while sprawled on a fluffy king-sized bed at the Craftsman hotel in Chittenango, NY, watching The Notebook on ABC Family, because that movie never gets old -- having just wrapped an unforgettable long-weekend of appearances, performances and book sales at the 34th annual OZ-STRAVAGANZA FESTIVAL!

Friends, it's been a total hoot! I've met astoundingly wonderful people -- from totally cool fellow self-published authors to Margaret Pellegrini, one of the original munchkins from MGM's The Wizard of Oz to the one and only Gregory Maguire (LIFE = COMPLETE) to Broadway legend (original Wiz in The Wiz) / scholar / philosopher / man-candy André De Shields (LIFE = DOUBLY COMPLETE).

What an incredible program of events! This weekend I had the privilege not only to be able to hear my fellow authors and actors speak eloquently about their work (and, in the case of Mr. De Shields, perform from The Wiz in his *original, skin-tight Wiz costume*) (I'm telling you, man candy), but I've also had the chance to chat, mingle and make incredible friends.

Now excuse me while I brag about it for a quick sec.

Monday, May 28, 2012

A li'l quote

I love this (and not just because my badass boyfriend tweeted it):

So well said, and so true. Follow Marshall Roy (fitness guru, trainer and philosopher extraordinaire!) on Twitter here.


Sunday, May 27, 2012

Friday, May 18, 2012

Nail polish gives me hope

At first I thought society was doomed; then I thought about nail polish. Nail polish gives me hope for the future. Here's why.

Nail polish is synonymous with progress, striving for excellence, refusing to admit defeat, finding solutions to impossible problems, making my digits bling out and shine against the drab color of my computer keyboard.

Forget affordable healthcare, forget job creation, forget sustainable environmental practices. Where our country SUCCEEDS is in the field of MANICURES.

Observe the following, in which I track my complex love-hate history with manicures / polish / the art of grooming -- culminating in a renewing and triumphant ending (photo included).

Living Through Hope and Despair: Felicia's Nail Polish Flowchart

1. I suck at putting on nail polish; it always looks smudged and like the Joker's mouth on my finger. What do I do? --> Duh. Go get a manicure.

2. Ugh...but manicures suck because I have sensitive cuticles and I am weirdly always paired up with the most violent and vengeful manicurist. --> No you're not, you're just paranoid.

3. You're right, I'll just grin and bear it. --> Good. Now sit there for forty-five minutes while nothing happens and you grow progressively more bored.

4. I guess I'll read a magazine. --> See? Isn't this fun?

5. Crap! Every time I get a manicure I smudge it when I go to pay! --> This is such a no-brainer, Felicia. Just pay BEFOREHAND.

6. But then it chips within, like, a day regardless. What do I do? --> Surprise! Science has just invented something called the GEL MANICURE. It stays on for almost two weeks, whether you like it or not!

7. Whoa! This is awesome! I haven't had a chip in so long! I'm the best! Are you sure it's not, like, cancerous for them to shoot UV rays all over my hands to dry the gel? --> I'm not sure, but I'm going to willfully ignore it.

8. Now how do I get these damn things off? --> I guess you could try to peel them?

9. Owwww owwww owww I just peeled off the gel and it hurts and now my nails look like cottage cheese helllllp. --> That's gross.

10. So what do I do? --> Easy: go back for another gel manicure. At least they didn't chip. At least you're getting added value by having them done professionally. And remember how sometimes even though you hate stuff you forget you hate it after a few days and then you go back and do it again?

11. You're right. I'll keep getting gel manicures, until the rest of time. --> Excellent.

12. But help! Even though gel manicures last, and they look super good, they're so expensive! I'm a poor writer trying to make ends meet while writing a nonsensical novel, but in order to write said novel, I need my nails to stand out colorfully against the keyboard; it is the only way to summon writerly inspiration. So what do I do? --> You're in luck! Try TREND TIPS by Sephora: pre-cut nail polish that you peel and stick on. You think it's going to chip, but it totally won't. It's only $12 bucks, it doesn't have to dry, and it looks fab. Then you just remove it with regular nail polish remover.

13. Uh, did the person writing this blog get paid to write that? --> No, but she should.

14. I love these things! They're the best! --> Wanna show us a pic?

Check it: they're birds, yo.

15. These are so cool! They're like pre-dried nail polish without being sticker-like. They look good and won't smudge. All of my problems have been solved!  If science can perfect the art of nail polish, so can it perfect every aspect of our lives, even if we continue to live unsustainably on our great and mistreated Mother Earth. I'm going to buy all eighteen designs! --> See? Fairy Tales DO exist.


Newsletter: Oz-Stravaganza and More

Just sent this to all my email list subscribers! (If you'd like to join the fun, click here for news, updates and ramblings.)

Dear Clever and Beautiful Ones! 

Behold! I've crawled from my cold and silty e-grave of email neglect to re-engage with ye, my trusty mailing list subscribers! I pray with all my might you'll take me back, despite my persistent neglect and distinctly corpse-like appearance.

Perhaps I can entice you with exciting news?

Unnaturally Green is now LESS THAN $4 BUCKS (for the e-book) and a mere $11.99 for the paperback! Now's the perfect time to give it as a gift to everybody you know (since I righty assume you ALL, without exception, have read it). Get another copy, like, ASAP!

What's more...

I'll be appearing (live! in the flesh!) alongside author Gregory Maguire and actor Andre De Shields this June 1-3 at the 34th Annual OZ-STRAVAGANZA Festival in Chittenango, New York (right near Syracuse), touting my book, signing things, and answering questions with unfounded authoritativeness. Get more info here!

  • I've been updating my Five-Trick Pony blog with greater frequency, which means I've been resorting to posts like this.
  • Unnaturally Green now has 71 five-star reviews on! (Did you read it? Leave a review!)
  • It was my birthday this past week! Which means I'm only slightly more depressed every time I shop for clothes at Forever 21.
  • Want to give me a present? Write a Facebook post about Unnaturally Green and be sure to tag the name of a friend (or friends) who you think would like it!
Do you have questions ("What the heck have you been doing lately?"*), comments ("I find your excessive enthusiasm to be endearing"), or ideas ("I think there's a market for edible nail polish")? Shoot me an email and I'll do my best to write back!

As always, thanks for being a part of this zany list!

Much love and aged cheeses,


*Answer: I've been writing, writing, writing (novels are hard (yep, I'm writing a novel (it's going to take a loooong time (so don't get too excited now)))), teaching voice, reading amazing young adult books, like this one, eating protein, lifting heavy weights, tweeting...enjoying this most unusual and utterly enjoyable late-mid-twenties phase of my life. What have you been up to?

Friday, May 11, 2012

My glamorous New York City life

My good friend Sam and I just had the BEST FRIDAY NIGHT EVER! We filmed it so you could watch and take part in the adventure! Now you know firsthand just how fun it is to hang out with me.

Wednesday, May 9, 2012

Two takeaways after seeing "The Avengers"

1. It is an awesomely awesome movie. Go see it!

2. Loki (played (scene-stealingly) by Tom Hiddleston) looks EXACTLY like Rooney Mara.

The end.

Saturday, May 5, 2012

Different kind of beautiful

Our culture exalts conventional beauty above all else. It wins out in so many spheres. Except books. On the page, beauty can be anywhere: in turns of phrases, perfect dialogue, sentences that stoke the imagination. The mundane can be spectacular; beauty can be anything it wants.

Except conventional. If writing is conventional, you've got to edit, revise, edit, revise.

In the world of words, who cares if her face is symmetrical? What is she feeling? What is she discovering? What beautiful lesson is being learned? 

This, my friends, is one of the many reasons I love books.

Friday, May 4, 2012


I've been thinking a lot about that Will.I.Am song "I Got It From My Mama" in which Will.I.Am will not stop interrogating a girl about the origins of her presumably bangin' body:

Baby, where'd you get your body from?
Tell me, where'd you get your body from?
Baby, where'd you get your body from?
Tell me, where'd you get your body from?

As you can tell, he's very, very keen on finding the answer. So the girl responds, almost four times:

I got it from my mama.
I got it from my mama.
I got it from my mama.
I got it, got it, g-got it.

My main criticism? The song should ask about other things, too:

Baby, where'd you get your body hair from?
Tell me, where'd you get your acne from?
Baby, where'd you get your pit stains from?
Tell me, where'd you get your overbite from?

I got it from my mama.
I got it from my mama.
I got it from my mama.
I got it, got it, g-got it.

Think about it, Will.I.Am, for your next remix.

Thursday, May 3, 2012

Internet worm hole leads in One Direction

Recently I fell down a deep, dark internet hole. For reasons unholy unjustifiable unbeknownst to me I found myself watching a perplexing video of the British boy band One Direction playing together on the beach. Don't ask me why, it just happened.

It reminded me of that "say I'm a bird" scene from The Notebook (below). If I had to cast the boys in the roles I'd say Harry Styles (the one with the longest, most unkempt hair who throws the towel) would be Ryan Gosling and all the other guys would be Rachel McAdams.

[ In unrelated, though actually related, news: I've decided it's high time I posted totally random/worthless stuff on this blog. Lately my brain has been leaking and I need this blog to catch the drips. You might think of these posts as longer versions of my unapologetically worthless tweets, which, on principle, rarely contribute anything to society. So forgive me in advance. Then enjoy! ]


Wednesday, May 2, 2012

I met Stephen Schwartz!



[Felicia takes sip of water, regroups.]

Okay, I just took a sip of water and regrouped, so I guess the shouting can stop (FOR NOW).

Friday, March 23, 2012

I am so fearful of a blank Word doc...

...that I'll sometimes start new projects / posts / paragraphs / chapters in a completely separate and "less threatening" context -- like an email window, or a Stickie note, or a scrap of paper. Then I'll copy and paste later.

Sounds crazy, right? But this way, beginning is much less intimidating. The water in the pool seems warmer. From there I can jump right in, instead of dip one toe and recoil from the cold.

File under: Neurotic. Weird. Writer's tip/writer's shame.

Saturday, March 17, 2012

St. Patrick's Day Roundup: Moments of Greenness

Happy Saint Patrick's Day! A holiday overbrimming with Irish foodleprechauns, red chin beards, raucous displays (if you're of-age, or one of the many irritating people outside my window) of public drunkenness, and, of course, greenness.

While I'm not typically a practitioner of the aforementioned (my idea of a wild night is staying up to watch an extra episode of Hoarders), as the 1/8-Irish author of this unnaturally GREEN blog, I couldn't NOT do a Saint Patrick's Day post! I just couldn't! What would my green baby of a book say to me, in all its personified glory? 

Below is a compilation of recent "Moments of Greenness" -- a list of the ways I've been green lately. It will give you a window into my strange and evolving world. In turn, I invite you to leave comments to let me know how you are practicing greenness (of any form!) in your day-to-day life. 

(If you've read my book, these definitions might look familiar...)

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

We're on Wikipedia! And we're $3.99!

Three quick announcements!

1) Wikipedia, purveyor of all useful knowledge, now has an Unnaturally Green page

2) All UG e-books are now only $3.99! (Get it for Kindle, Nook, iBooks, Sony Reader). That's, like, the price of a Venti Starbucks drink!

3) I like using exclamation points!


Wednesday, March 7, 2012

Updates and such! And I need your opinion!

Friends, countrymen, countrywomen, non-countrymen, and non-countrywomen!

First off, Unnaturally Green now costs only $14 on! FOURTEEN DOLLARS, I SAY! That's the price of a movie ticket! So affordable, I can't stand it!

Second off. Remember that time I was like, "Hey, I'm going to release a fun little How-To guide on getting started in ShowBizNess (<-- except I didn't spell it nonsensically) slash how to write stuff?" I tentatively called it a guide to "following your dreams." WELL. That project is finally coming to a be released as an e-book very soon!

But here is the thing, muchachos: I need your advice. I'm in the midst of editing, and I find that a flaw of the booklet is that I discuss two pursuits, acting and writing. I do this because lots of the book is about general dream-following. Like, how to prepare to do something when you have no idea how to do it, and, naturally, I speak from experience, getting into some specifics from my own life with respect to Wicked and writing about it in Unnaturally Green. Hence, acting and writing.

Thursday, February 23, 2012

My beef with NBC's "Smash"

In this corner, weighing hundreds of thousands of channel views on YouTube, is "Submissions Only," a hilarious web series about which I gushed last month. It parodies New York's theater audition scene, has great characters, brilliant comedy, and is at the same time procedural and informative. Aaaand in the other corner, with swiftly declining ratings, is "Smash," NBC's soap opera drama that chronicles the mounting of a Broadway musical. There's sex, tears, British accents, lots of montages of Catherine McPhee/Megan Hilty gazing longingly, swallowing their pain, singing through hardship, and reaching for the stars!

Okay, okay, I'll stop being cheeky. As you can probably tell from my preamble, "Smash" is not my favorite show. But, here's the thing: I watched the pilot and didn't hate it. In fact, I liked it. I was rooting for it so hard! It's a TV show about Broadway, for Pete's sake! And that's awesome! 

But since then, my hopes have been all but dashed. As the characters get flatter, and the stakes get lower, and the camera-mugging gets muggier, disillusionment has overtaken me.  

The show's just not working. Here's why.

(DISCLAIMER: I understand only three episodes have aired, so I freely admit that this rant post is by no means conclusive. Let it thusly be deemed cautionary -- an airing of my grievances. I remain hopeful that these train wrecks flaws can be resolved before it gets canceled throughout the remainder of the season. Let it also be noted that I'm no expert on some of these matters; I can speak only from my limited experience in the biz of show, armed with my relative ability as a writer/performer to identify when something rings true and when it makes me want to vom comes off as hollow.)

1. Marilyn Monroe. 

There's a blonde elephant in the room, and it's Marilyn Monroe. Namely: why her? "Smash" relies so heavily on the intrigue of Marilyn Monroe as a person. They're constantly alluding to the contrast between her larger-than-life persona and her quiet vulnerability, threading it like it's some kind of important theme or whatever.

Unfortunately, I agree with the nay-sayers on the show: "Who would want to see a musical about Marilyn?" The sad truth is that she doesn't resonate culturally with this generation of viewers. When the writing duo (played by Christian Borle and Debra Messing) haggle about which characters they should include in their joint work, they mention Arthur Miller and Joe DiMaggio with such gravitas, as if we should know how and why they are so profoundly important to Ms. Monroe's story.

Except, um, who cares? My level of understanding of Marilyn Monroe has as much depth as a Wikipedia page. That's just the truth. Sorry. And I'm guessing I'm not alone.

So I'm skeptical about where this can go. As long as the show's fictional producer (Anjelica Huston), writers, and actors are so invested in Marilyn, we as viewers will be expected to share similarly heightened feelings. I mean, Megan Hilty's Ivy treats her actor's journey of discovery like it's the most sacred and enthralling pursuit of all time, but I couldn't care less. I feel alienated, and, frankly, bored when I hear her mention it.

I can't really see how this whole Marilyn thing is going to fly, especially if it remains so central to the show. In short, if I were a producer approached to invest in Marilyn: The Musical, I would hold onto my money.

2. Musicals take years to put up, and yet this process is the show's main source of conflict.

Everybody is racing to mount Marilyn: The Musical. Why? The thing is, writing and putting up a musical is the slowest process EVARR. Musicals (like all works of art -- plays, books, screenplays) go through many drafts and iterations. In theater, this happens in the form of table reads, staged readings, workshops, and then maybe -- just maybe -- full-on productions. Which is to say: nobody, especially not Ivy and Karen, should care about this confounded workshop (for which producer Eileen Rand is hoping to raise a whopping $200,000?? Why??).

By and by, this idea of "putting up a musical" is the centerpiece of the show's sources of "conflict." (Who will get the part??? Will Karen stay in the ensemble??? Will the evil and weirdly monotone-voiced assistant demand credit for the writers' idea?????) But this backdrop couldn't be less dramatic. The whole "will she or won't she get the part conflict" never mattered. Ivy got the part for now, but Karen remains in the wings in the ensemble. Also, there are lots of auditions. Lots of jobs. Lots of parts. So who cares who gets it?

Not me.

3. The show would be interesting if it would just be honest.

People are fascinated with worlds about which they know nothing. There's a reason why we all loved (still love!) Law and Order: it's the ultimate procedural show. The layperson doesn't really have a day-to-day sense of how crime and punishment works, so we love seeing it dramatized in a step-by-step manner that's not (too) far-fetched.

This was why I was so excited about "Smash"; I was looking forward to seeing a creative theater process on the small screen. If you read my book, you know it's an interest of mine to purvey to non-theater folk what it's like to work in theater: I tried to write about how it works, what kinds of obstacles there are -- the basic nuts and bolts of the process.

Instead, "Smash" totally bastardizes the process, almost like it's embarrassed by it. "Smash" so badly wants the theater world to be something it's not -- a world where there is ONLY ONE great director, and he's hot and British (not to mention straight and predatory); a world where all high-powered producers dine, by coincidence, in the same restaurant; a world where struggling waitresses have great apartments; a world where one writer can HATE HER PARTNER'S ASSISTANT SO MUCH BECAUSE HE BEHAVES IN DEEPLY INAPPROPRIATE WAYS but not gently request that he be let go.

Okay, okay, I know: lots of shows distort reality and make stuff larger-than-life. But in "Smash" there's such a fundamental disconnect, it doesn't come off as distorted, it comes off as surreal! It's like "Smash" merely wears the disguise of a show about theater, when really it's a half-baked soap opera about...nothing.

I wish it would just be more honest. Which leads me too...

4. The show needs fewer and better characters.

Who are these people? What do they want? Why does Debra Messing's son really, really want a Chinese sister when he's going away to college in like a year? Do you know anything about Ivy besides her being really, really, really into Marilyn, slightly neglected by her unsupportive family, and that she's maybe starting to like the director (with whom she's sleeping)?

And what the eff is that assistant's problem? Seriously, though. Get the hook.

These characters ring flat. And there are so many of them! Show me some depth, please. "Smash" needs three-dimensional characters with real sources of conflict, especially since the tone of the whole show is über-serious. I can count on one hand the show's funny moments (and I would only raise one finger for the, uh, three times Eileen threw a Manhattan in her ex-husband's face).

A dramatic TV show takes real human drama that's rooted in something -- real backstory, real stakes -- not something that's thrown in after the fact, like spices on an undercooked dish.

5. Autotune.

Why. Why. Why.

And thus ends this post. I hope some of these things can be resolved, because I do want "Smash" to succeed. I suppose I'm passionate about this because it's one of the first mainstream attempts (in recent memory) to portray the theater world to a non-theater audience. It also features some super talented actors, many of whom are fairly new to TV, and I hate to see them short-changed with such sub-par material.

Here's hoping things get better! As always, I invite you to comment and join the discussion.

Peace out!


Sunday, February 19, 2012


Here are pictures of some of the super rad peeps who entered the Godspell giveaway. They're holding copies of Unnaturally Green, open to their favorite quotations. In the words of Celine Dion, I lurve them all! Thank you again to everybody who entered, and for supporting UG!

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

And the winner is....

Mucho congrats to Nicholas Clar, winner of our Godspell giveaway! His favorite UG quote was:

Think of something, anything!

Yay, implied profanity!

Thank you to all who entered! Contestant pictures are forthcoming (from those who entered and gave me permission to post).

Stay tuned!

Friday, February 3, 2012

"Submissions Only" is freaking fantastic

Yo dudes! I may be behind the times, but I finally got around to watching every single episode of Submissions Only, a web series that parodies the New York audition and theater scene, and I am totally HOOKED. If you're at all curious about what it's like to work as an actor in New York City, particularly as a musical theater actor, this is a very accurate (not to mention HILARIOUS) glimpse into that whole world.

The series showcases mondo-talented actors whom you'll recognize from stage and screen -- featuring the insanely funny Kate Wetherhead, who also (brilliantly) writes and directs (alongside Andrew Keenan-Bolger), Broadway star Santino Fontana, whose name sounds like an Italian soda spritzer (and who is, as the Italians say, molto simpatico), as well as Colin Hanlon, whom I saw play Fiyero on the Wicked tour, and whom I occasionally see working out at my gym, looking extremely strapping (no, I haven't yet said hello; instead I lurk in corners, staring wantonly). Bonus: There are tons of great cameos from the über-famous, including Kristin Chenoweth. Yay!

So, what are you waiting for? WATCH IT! Check out the complete episode roster here -- and brace yourselves for lots o' laughs.

Wednesday, February 1, 2012

"Godspell" tickets giveaway!

A new month, a new giveaway! Because I haz the sweet hook-ups, I recently secured TWO FREE TICKETS TO SEE GODSPELL ON THE BWAY! And I'm giving them away on this blog! AAAAAAAH!!!!!

HERE'S HOW TO ENTER! (Three steps)

1. Snap a photo of yourself holding your copy of Unnaturally Greenopen to the page containing your favorite quotation! (You can also pull it up on your e-reader.)

2. Go to this blog's submission page and upload the photo, writing your name in the "Here is my idea" box. (If you like, you can also transcribe the quotation into the "Here is my idea" box -- but it's not required.)

3. Check back on February 15, 2012 to see if you won!

It's as simple as that! If you don't live in NYC, you can win always try to win the tickets to give to a friend, or make an East Coast trip out of it! The winning voucher is good for any Tuesday, Thursday, or Sunday night performance through May 1, 2012.

And in case you didn't know -- Godspell is back for its first-ever Broadway revival! Written by Grammy and Academy Award-winner Stephen Schwartz (composer of Wicked (OBVS!) and Pippin as well as the movies Pocahontas and Enchanted), Godspell stars Hunter Parrish (“Weeds,” Spring Awakening) and many others, including Nick Blaemire (with whom I once recorded a demo about a Duck that runs for president; he probably wouldn't know me if I accosted him on the street, but, oh well, he's really funny in the show!) and Celisse Henderson (who was Shen-Shen in Wicked San Francisco before I arrived; she also probably wouldn't know me if I accosted her on the street). You should totally go see it! It is great!

And, to recap, the winner will be announced on February 15, 2012! Good luck!

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Tonight's event was great fun!

Thank you to all who showed up tonight at Housing Works NYC to see "Broadway Backstage," in which I sat sandwiched between Michael Kostroff and Arthur Anderson -- both of them wise and gracious gentlemen -- talking about Unnaturally Green, my little-memoir-that-could.

If you'd like a peek at what you missed, check out these videos on my Unnatural UStream Channel (and thank you to all who watched it live!).

Peace out, chickadees!

Monday, January 16, 2012 gave us a holler

Hey, fun friends! First off, today is Gentle Rambo's birthday! (He's my bf, in case you didn't know -- read about his rippling abdominals in my book. Or, get the popular coffee table book Hot Guys and Baby Animals, in which Rambo is featured holding a baby goat. I'm not joking about this.) Everybody wish him a happy birthday in your minds and hearts and possibly bake a cake and eat it in his honor. We'll be devouring a massive, sugar-filled brunch at Norma's ("the best brunch in NYC!") in a couple of hours to celebrate.

Secondly,'s Steven Suskin mentioned Unnaturally Green in his most recent theater book roundup (we got a pic and everything!). Even though he admits to only paging through (but not reading the darn thing), it's cool to get another shout-out on a site as well-known and prestigious as Playbill. So, thank you, dudes!

Bye for now. Hug each other!


Friday, January 13, 2012

Visit Hamburg and feel like a GIANT!

Check out this ridiculously awesome video of the "Mini Wonderland" (or should I say, "Wunderland") in Hamburg, Germany -- its most successful tourist attraction. (If small things made to scale don't particularly interest you, watch it just to hear the Augustus Gloopian narrator.)

Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Watch live video of my Jan 24 event

While the fact that ye Unnaturally Green readers are scattered across the globe makes my life more exciting and colorful, it makes interpersonal interaction tricky. Take, for example, my January 24 book event at Housing Works NYC. I want to meet you all! But, alas. Plane tickets are mad expensive.

Luckily, there is hope!

Thanks to my lovely assistant slash voice student Lesley (who is a veritable online-media-organizational guru), recently I discovered that I can stream video online -- LIVE! -- as the book event happens.

Want to plug in and watch it all go down? It's simple:

1. On Tuesday, January 24, at 6:59PM EST, go here. (It takes you to my brand spankin' new UStream Channel called "UnnaturalTV.")

2. Watch, laugh, and applaud, and imagine that I can see and hear you! I will do my best to hallucinate visions that each and every one of you is sitting before me.

3. There may be ads that pop up on the site during the broadcast (between 5-30 seconds long). Fear not! These will go away eventually. Feel free to express your frustrations by shouting, cursing, and/or waving your fist in the air.

4. If you're going to be busy during the actual broadcast, the event will (if all goes as planned) be recorded and posted for later viewing.

Questions? Comments? Y'all know the drill!

Hope you can tune in!