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Sunday, July 24, 2011

RIP Amy Winehouse

Belated post to bid farewell to Amy Winehouse, who passed away yesterday at the untimely age of 27. It was she who uttered the words that first inspired this blog's title:

"I'm not a one-trick pony. I'm at least a five-trick pony."

From one five-trick pony to the other: goodbye, Ms. Winehouse! Your music kicks ass, and you will be sorely missed.


Wednesday, July 20, 2011

How to Sing Defying Gravity

**UPDATE FROM THE FUTURE! 11-3-13** I have just released a comprehensive online belting course called Belt Your Face Off! With 24 videos and nearly 4 hours of content, this course teaches you everything you need to know about belt-singing. And if you link through this blog you get $20 off!

I first saw WICKED on Broadway as a 19 year-old, in which the goddess known as Shoshana Bean played Elphaba, its green-skinned protagonist. Aside from being struck by how awesome the musical was in general, mostly I couldn't understand how Shoshana sang all those freaking high songs. Cuz, like, those songs be high and hard, like. Many years later, after playing the role myself, sometimes under less than ideal circumstances, I have a few tricks up my own sleeve.

Wanna see??? (Click below for "Defying Gravity" and "The Wizard and I" singing tips!)

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

News and TWO Weird Videos!


Tonight I will be releasing BIG NEWS and TWO WEIRD VIDEOS about my memoir Unnaturally Green, sent exclusively to my mailing list subscribers.

If you want to join in on the fun, be sure to sign up now...


Monday, July 11, 2011

Summer in New York City

Ask yourself.

Is it a regular occurrence that your armpit sweat actually drips onto other people's shoes?

Have you ever wiped your brow with office supply paper?

Do people ever mistake you for having taken a swim, when really you've walked three blocks down a city street?

If any of these apply, then you, like me, are spending your Summer in New York City.

This year marks my third Summer in the city that never sleeps or breaks in humidity. I missed out last June through August since Summer in San Francisco is grey, rainy, cold, and unsupportive of rompers or other lingerie-inspired attire.

I was sad to miss out last year, because I do like Summer here. It is a great equalizer, as it makes everyone miserable and forces you to embrace that misery. It also forces you to redo your wardrobe entirely. And by "redo your wardrobe" I mean "stop wearing clothes altogether," venturing out into public in the following fabrics only:

1. Mesh

As for spending time indoors?

Every Summer, I go through the same thing -- an internal war between taking action and being lazy, which I mistake for my showing strength and perseverance. I'm talking, of course, about waiting until the last possible moment to install my air conditioner. In my early days of subletting in Brooklyn, then living with a Craigslist roommate in Queens, I showed real strength of character, and could get through to August before buckling. Every morning I'd wake in my normal bed turned sweat water bed and think, "You really are something, Fel." This achievement somehow made up for my failure of a love life, professional uncertainties, and fact that I ate most meals from a can.

This year, the dilemma remains, but the circumstances have changed. I am living with my perfect boyfriend, I am happy with where my career is headed, my diet consists only of some canned foods, and -- as far as air conditioning goes -- I'm halfway there. We already have one in the bedroom, old and rickety and asbestos-laden as it is. But our apartment is a long railroad, so the sun-drenched kitchen and living room remain torture chamber versions of saunas where hope and hydration go to die.

But my boyfriend and I have just recently talked, and we've decided it's high time to take the next step.

That's right: we're getting a second air conditioner.


Until then, I'll be the one wearing mesh and sweating on your espadrilles.


Wednesday, July 6, 2011


In what will be remembered historically as one of the most drawn-out lead-ins of all time, I am happy to say that today, July 6, 2011, I am GOING TO FINISH MY BOOK, Y'ALL!

Well. A draft, anyway.

I submit for evidence the pile of legal pads (above) that have been strewn about my couch for the past several weeks. Midway through writing I switched to exclusively using a pen and paper and have lately been transcribing 3,000+ words a day onto my computer. My hands by this point are basically fists with nubbins. I haven't slept. I haven't left my apartment except to empty my bedpan. Only kidding. I make someone else empty my bedpan.

So let it be here writ! I'll be done with my final draft before the stroke of midnight tonight! I don't know about you, but for me, this is great great news!

The not-as-good news? Finishing my draft means it will be time to EDIT. But, don't worry, I'm going to edit like a MOFO. I've enlisted the help of two editor friends who are going to whip this 70,000-word gobbledy-gook-fest into shape so we can get it PUBLISHED, y'all.

Then, while I keep you abreast of the publishing process, I'll (finally!) send out my book's trailer, other related goodies and start accepting writing contest submissions! (<-- More formal announcement about this, via my mailing list and blog, coming soon!)

In the meantime, tell your friends! If you're as excited about UNNATURALLY GREEN as I am, you can help me get the word out.

Thanks for listening, and I'll continue to keep you posted.

Love and legal pads and bedpans,