- FREE PENS.
- If anyone speaks, they do so in low, soothing tones.
- It is customary to wear clothes that need not be geared toward
- Rigorous movement or dance
- Concealing pit stains
- Showing off ones “assets”
- If I wake up with phlegm in my throat, THAT’S OKAY.
- If I arrive a few minutes late, THAT’S OKAY.
- I can eat and not worry about the timing of subsequent bodily functions. (Oh yes, I went there.) (And yes, that’s something you have to consider when working in the theater.)
- I am required to more or less stay put in the building, even when I’m not particularly needed.*
- Unlike my prior experiences with the unbridled, persistent gregariousness of nearly every actor I’ve ever encountered, it is not a matter of course that one’s coworkers introduce themselves or even speak.**
- Brunch has become a competitive sport, as I no longer have the special privilege – sometimes curse – of being free when everyone else is busy; instead, I must submit to the workweek / weekend dichotomy. Gone are those solitary week days, when I used to scour the lonely streets for companionship, wander into various places of business, and wile away my idle hours at an empty movie theater, pondering what exactly it was I was doing with my life, where I was going to find my next paycheck, and why the weekly cost of concessions add up to nearly half of my unemployment insurance.
*Upside: …during which time I can compile inane lists, like this one.
*Also: slightly reminiscent of my standby stint, no?
**Although, this is oftentimes a good thing. As a point of contrast, I would, if I had the capabilities, submit to you one of several live actor-subjects I’ve encountered at various auditions, to whom a mute individual would be, in many cases, preferable.